Last year, my spiritual director asked me if I had a special relationship with any saint. I did not. But I did not forget his question and did think about it. He also told me that you don't find a patron saint, they find you.
In a quiet moment last month, it became clear to me that a saint was trying to get my attention. I let the thoughts come together, did some research on him and believe that he is a good model for me.
He was married but never fathered any children of his own.
As a priest, I will be spiritual father to many who are not my own.
He worked with his hands, was a laborer, tradesman and a carpenter.
I love to get my hands dirty on a good woodworking project.
He is noted for being in the bible, but never saying a word in the bible.
I've been called terse and taciturn many times.
A book about him says, "His silent life speaks volumes about love, obedience, integrity and the value of good work".
If I can live up to those ideals, I'd be a very happy camper.
St Joseph, you cared for Mary and Jesus, will you be my spiritual father as well?
Thursday, November 29, 2012
Tuesday, November 13, 2012
I am weak
The Office of Readings for October 25 had a portion of a letter from St.
Augustine as its focus. As I read it, I had a glimmer of understanding
about something that has been bothering me.
I had to look up the reference, I am not a bible scholar. It was from 2 Corinthians 12:6-9.
He showed that he himself shared this uncertainty. Did he know what it was right to pray for when he was given a thorn in the flesh, an angel of Satan to bruise him, so that he might not be puffed up by the greatness of what was revealed to him? Three times he asked the Lord to take it away from him, which showed that he did not know what he should ask for in prayer. At last, he heard the Lord’s answer, explaining why the prayer of so great a man was not granted, and why it was not expedient for it to be granted: My grace is sufficient for you, for power shines forth more perfectly in weakness.
In the kind of affliction, then, which can bring either good or ill, we do not know what it is right to pray for; yet, because it is difficult, troublesome and against the grain for us, weak as we are, we do what every human would do, we pray that it may be taken away from us. We owe, however, at least this much in our duty to God: if he does not take it away, we must not imagine that we are being forgotten by him but because of our loving endurance of evil, must await greater blessings in its place. In this way, power shines forth more perfectly in weakness. These words are written to prevent us from having too great an opinion of ourselves if our prayer is granted, when we are impatient in asking for something that it would be better not to receive; and to prevent us from being dejected, and distrustful of God’s mercy toward us, if our prayer is not granted, when we ask for something that would bring us greater affliction, or completely ruin us through the corrupting influence of prosperity. In these cases we do not know what is right to ask for in prayer.
Therefore, if something happens that we did not pray for, we must have no doubt at all that what God wants is more expedient than what we wanted ourselves. Our great Mediator gave us an example of this. After he had said: Father, if it is possible, let this cup be taken away from me, he immediately added, Yet not what I will, but what you will, Father, so transforming the human will that was his through his taking a human nature. As a consequence, and rightly so, through the obedience of one man the many are made righteous.
I had to look up the reference, I am not a bible scholar. It was from 2 Corinthians 12:6-9.
- "...but about myself I will not boast, except about my weaknesses. Although if I should wish to
boast, I would not be foolish, for I would be telling the truth. But I
refrain, so that no one may think more of me than what he sees in me or
hears from me because of the abundance of the revelations. Therefore, that I might not become too elated, a thorn in the flesh was given to me, an angel of Satan, to beat me, to keep me from being too elated. Three times I begged the Lord about this, that it might leave me, but he said to me,
"My grace is sufficient for you, for power is made perfect in
weakness." I will rather boast most gladly of my weaknesses, in order
that the power of Christ may dwell with me."
I am weak. Some of you know that I have some issues with balance and vertigo. It is not constant, but enough to remark upon. My doctors have eliminated about everything they can think of, so I live with it. I take over the counter medication for it when it gets really bad.
I am weak. I have Type II diabetes. I control it with diet, exercise, insulin and other medications. This is a progressive disease that always gets worse. So far, I am lucky with no serious complications.
I am weak. My weakness allows me to relate to others with weakness. My weakness makes me a better seminarian and, I pray, a better priest in the future.
The bold sections below spoke to me...
I am weak. I have Type II diabetes. I control it with diet, exercise, insulin and other medications. This is a progressive disease that always gets worse. So far, I am lucky with no serious complications.
I am weak. My weakness allows me to relate to others with weakness. My weakness makes me a better seminarian and, I pray, a better priest in the future.
The bold sections below spoke to me...
Second reading
From a letter to Proba by Saint Augustine, bishop
We do not know what it is right to pray for
You may still want to ask why the Apostle said: We do not know what it is right to pray for, because, surely, we cannot believe that either he or those to whom he wrote did not know the Lord’s Prayer.From a letter to Proba by Saint Augustine, bishop
We do not know what it is right to pray for
He showed that he himself shared this uncertainty. Did he know what it was right to pray for when he was given a thorn in the flesh, an angel of Satan to bruise him, so that he might not be puffed up by the greatness of what was revealed to him? Three times he asked the Lord to take it away from him, which showed that he did not know what he should ask for in prayer. At last, he heard the Lord’s answer, explaining why the prayer of so great a man was not granted, and why it was not expedient for it to be granted: My grace is sufficient for you, for power shines forth more perfectly in weakness.
In the kind of affliction, then, which can bring either good or ill, we do not know what it is right to pray for; yet, because it is difficult, troublesome and against the grain for us, weak as we are, we do what every human would do, we pray that it may be taken away from us. We owe, however, at least this much in our duty to God: if he does not take it away, we must not imagine that we are being forgotten by him but because of our loving endurance of evil, must await greater blessings in its place. In this way, power shines forth more perfectly in weakness. These words are written to prevent us from having too great an opinion of ourselves if our prayer is granted, when we are impatient in asking for something that it would be better not to receive; and to prevent us from being dejected, and distrustful of God’s mercy toward us, if our prayer is not granted, when we ask for something that would bring us greater affliction, or completely ruin us through the corrupting influence of prosperity. In these cases we do not know what is right to ask for in prayer.
Therefore, if something happens that we did not pray for, we must have no doubt at all that what God wants is more expedient than what we wanted ourselves. Our great Mediator gave us an example of this. After he had said: Father, if it is possible, let this cup be taken away from me, he immediately added, Yet not what I will, but what you will, Father, so transforming the human will that was his through his taking a human nature. As a consequence, and rightly so, through the obedience of one man the many are made righteous.
Friday, November 2, 2012
Ministry of Reader
Step 1 - Ministry of Acolyte - 12/07/2011 - Complete
Step 2 - Ministry of Reader - 10/31/2012 - Complete
Step 3 - Transitional Deacon - January 2015 (maybe June 2014) (God willing)
Step 4 - Priest - June 2015 (God willing)
That's my classmate Mark on the left, me in the middle, Aidan on the right.
Ken, the Master of Ceremonies, is standing behind us.
On the far left, is Bishop Hartmayer from Savannah, GA doing the installation.
Thursday, October 25, 2012
"Burst of Joy"
This picture is titled "Burst of Joy".
It is a Pulitzer Prize winning photograph by AP photographer Slava "Sal" Veder take on March 17, 1973. The photograph depicts Lt. Col. Robert L. Stirm being reunited with his family, after spending more than five years in captivity as a POW in North Vietnam. The centerpiece of the photograph is Stirm's 15-year-old daughter Lorrie, who is excitedly greeting her father with outstretched arms, as the rest of the family approaches directly behind her.
The topic was "Faith in Heaven". The retreat master spoke about our longings for heaven, for eternal peace, reunification with loved ones. Then he passed out copies of this picture. You may have seen it before if you have enough years on the planet. This is the pure joy and excitement of a former POW and his family being reunited after 5 years.
Then, the retreat master said, "Our perceptions of heaven are off because we are expecting too little." He said other things too, but I did not hear him. I just looked at that young girl and the joy on her face and thought of my Carmen. (I'm tearing up just typing this now). She looked so much like that when I met her in college. I think she even had an outfit like that.
Is she waiting for me in heaven with her arms open like that? Are the rest of my loved ones also waiting in line behind her?
The picture and the reflection had a big impact on we few widowed seminarians. Many of us were wiping the tears away.
Thursday, October 18, 2012
The Labyrinth - Part 2
While on retreat at the Passionist retreat house in West Hartford, I walked the labyrinth. The centerpiece of this labyrinth is a large stone sculpture. Other labyrinths that I have traversed have a crucifix at the center, so this was new for me.
The artist suggest that the circle represents the eternity of God and the emptiness of the circle suggests we need to empty ourselves as we journey.
Well, I took that thought with me into the labyrinth and developed a few thoughts of my own. In the beginning, I saw the sculpture as an empty human being, needing God to fill him up, to make him whole. From various angles, I saw people who knew that and could see the empty space within themselves and from other angles, those who could not see the void within.
Halfway through the walk, I saw completely through the structure from the back to the front. Then I saw a circle and the circle was God. Nothing exists outside the circle and the entire universe exists inside of, and is bound inside the circle by God.
The rocks that made up that circle were smooth, rough, flat, curved, large, small, light and dark just like the wondrous variety of life that we see in God's marvelous gift of creation.
When I arrived at the center, I noticed that people had been bringing petitions and rocks to the center to stuff into cracks, crevices and niches of the sculpture. I presume they carried the rocks to drop their burdens off with God. I added my prayer to God for their petitions and unburdening if they were for their greatest good and His will.
On the walk back out, I noted the footprints of my fellow travelers as we walked the path to God together - but separate.
The artist suggest that the circle represents the eternity of God and the emptiness of the circle suggests we need to empty ourselves as we journey.
Well, I took that thought with me into the labyrinth and developed a few thoughts of my own. In the beginning, I saw the sculpture as an empty human being, needing God to fill him up, to make him whole. From various angles, I saw people who knew that and could see the empty space within themselves and from other angles, those who could not see the void within.
Halfway through the walk, I saw completely through the structure from the back to the front. Then I saw a circle and the circle was God. Nothing exists outside the circle and the entire universe exists inside of, and is bound inside the circle by God.
The rocks that made up that circle were smooth, rough, flat, curved, large, small, light and dark just like the wondrous variety of life that we see in God's marvelous gift of creation.
When I arrived at the center, I noticed that people had been bringing petitions and rocks to the center to stuff into cracks, crevices and niches of the sculpture. I presume they carried the rocks to drop their burdens off with God. I added my prayer to God for their petitions and unburdening if they were for their greatest good and His will.
On the walk back out, I noted the footprints of my fellow travelers as we walked the path to God together - but separate.
Friday, October 12, 2012
The Labyrinth - Part 1
There is something about a labyrinth that appeals to me. I know that many of my brother seminarians would disagree, but I find a mirror of our spiritual journey in a labyrinth.
Just to put us all on the same page, a labyrinth is not a maze, you cannot get lost, but you move closer to and further from the center throughout your journey. (Here is a sample path)
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Christians borrowed the labyrinth from the pagans during medieval times so that they could do pilgrimages without traveling thousands of miles.
There are probably dozens of ways of walking a labyrinth. Here is my way. I start with a prayer while looking at the goal. I take seven steps, why seven? I don't know, it just feels right. I say another prayer. I repeat until I reach the goal. What prayer? It depends. I do vary it quite a bit. I say Hail Marys, Our Fathers, Glory Be, spontaneous prayers, sometimes followed by silence to listen, sometimes not. I pay attention to my orientation to the goal. Sometimes closer, sometimes further away, sometimes facing the goal, sometimes turned away. See what I mean about a spiritual journey? Sometimes we are close to God, sometimes far away, sometimes turned to God, sometimes turned away.
Walking a labyrinth this way does require some time. I've never actually times it, but I suspect it takes an hour or so to get into the center of the labyrinth.
Once in the center, I take some time to closely examine the center structure and then walk out slowly thanking God for this quiet time with Him. A couple of final prayers just before I finish complete my walk.
Next Time -- My walk in West Hartford
Just to put us all on the same page, a labyrinth is not a maze, you cannot get lost, but you move closer to and further from the center throughout your journey. (Here is a sample path)
Christians borrowed the labyrinth from the pagans during medieval times so that they could do pilgrimages without traveling thousands of miles.
There are probably dozens of ways of walking a labyrinth. Here is my way. I start with a prayer while looking at the goal. I take seven steps, why seven? I don't know, it just feels right. I say another prayer. I repeat until I reach the goal. What prayer? It depends. I do vary it quite a bit. I say Hail Marys, Our Fathers, Glory Be, spontaneous prayers, sometimes followed by silence to listen, sometimes not. I pay attention to my orientation to the goal. Sometimes closer, sometimes further away, sometimes facing the goal, sometimes turned away. See what I mean about a spiritual journey? Sometimes we are close to God, sometimes far away, sometimes turned to God, sometimes turned away.
Walking a labyrinth this way does require some time. I've never actually times it, but I suspect it takes an hour or so to get into the center of the labyrinth.
Once in the center, I take some time to closely examine the center structure and then walk out slowly thanking God for this quiet time with Him. A couple of final prayers just before I finish complete my walk.
Next Time -- My walk in West Hartford
Saturday, October 6, 2012
Retreat Week
Classes are over today. After tomorrow's Mass, our class will be heading to West Hartford for a week long silent retreat. This gives us time to think, pray, and be quiet with God.
You may recall that last year's retreat led me to a new and I believe better place to be in my Seminary life. I trust that this year will be a beneficial time for me as well.
The faculty has been cooperating and we only have one assignment due the week after the retreat, so no pressure there. The week after, however... let's just say that there will be a lot of time devoted to writing papers and studying for midterms.
You may recall that last year's retreat led me to a new and I believe better place to be in my Seminary life. I trust that this year will be a beneficial time for me as well.
The faculty has been cooperating and we only have one assignment due the week after the retreat, so no pressure there. The week after, however... let's just say that there will be a lot of time devoted to writing papers and studying for midterms.
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