Friday, December 23, 2011

Christmas Break

A Blessed and Merry Christmas to each and every one of my blog readers.  May you find time to just be with family and enjoy their presence and the amazing present of Jesus Christ that God gave to us.

I am at home in Maine with my family.  I've been sorting out the den and making it a comfortable space.  I decided to leave the Hammond organ in the den and take my keyboard back to the dorm room in January.

I rearranged my bedroom the first day back and I have much more space to work with now.  I still have some boxes to go through up in the eaves of my bedroom, but not working too hard at that or anything else.  I'm playing some computer games and watching a lot of movies with my family.

Reflecting back on the semester, I think I did OK.  My grades will be in my mailbox when I get back to the Seminary.  I'll let you know (roughly) how I did. 

Wednesday, December 14, 2011

A God moment

Last night, I visited the local prison where I used to volunteer on a regular basis.  It was their annual Christmas party.  The party kicks off with the usual Tuesday communion service.  Now, there are a couple of people who always assist at the communion service.  They were both in the room last night.

At Communion time, the inmate running the service gives the consecrated host to one of the usual people and then calls my name.  I look up and see that he is motioning me to come up to assist with Communion.  I go, receive and begin to distribute the Body of Christ.  When the service is over, I go back to my seat to pray and reflect. After the service, I asked the inmate, "Why did you ask me today?".  He said, "I don't know, I just had a feeling."

He did not know that I had just been instituted as an Acolyte and Eucharistic Minister.   He just picked my name out of the air.  So, my first time EVER distributing the Body of Christ was a mere coincidence.  (Remember, I'm the organist, I've never been an Extraordinary Minister of the Eucharist.)  I don't believe in that kind of coincidence any more than you do.  It was truly a God moment.

Wednesday, December 7, 2011

Acolyte Institution

Tonight at Mass, the 14 members of the First Theology Class (including me) were instituted as Acolyte.  This is the first formal step towards future ordination.  It was a beautiful ceremony celebrated by His Excellency, The Most Reverend Michael J. Sheridan, Bishop of the Diocese of Colorado Springs, Colorado.  He was a bit of a ways from home, but he does have a student here in our class, so he made the trip.  It was followed by a Festive Dinner with my dad, some friends from my home parish and Fr. M. 

I do believe a good time was had by all.  As for me, I felt something during the ceremony.  I'm not positive what it was, but the Spirit might have been stirring. 

Here is a picture of my Dad and me at dinner.

Monday, December 5, 2011

2 year anniversary

Tuesday, December 6th, 2011. 

Carmen died 2 years ago today.  The battery powered Christmas candle that I placed in the bedroom window nearest my bed soon after her death is still faintly glowing, refusing to go out like all the other candles I lit at the same time.  I know that she is still watching over me.  Fr. Murphy, here at the seminary, has agreed to offer a memorial Mass for Carmen today at 7:00 A.M.

Much in my life has changed in the last 2 years.  Life here at the Seminary has been good for me.  But, I still miss Carmen. That sad hole in my life where she used to be just shows my humanity.

Monday, November 28, 2011

Thanksgiving Break and Final 3 weeks of the semester

Well, Thanksgiving break is over.  I had 5 days back at home with my family.  It was a pleasant time and I continued my treadmill, prayer and Mass practices almost without interruption.  It was very nice to be cooking for my family again.  I do love to cook and we don't do much of that here.

The next 3 weeks at the Seminary will be "crazy busy".  We have 4 finals, 3 of them before finals week, 2 papers to turn in or present at a panel and installation as Acolytes with Mass followed by a festive dinner.   Of course, we need to learn how to be Acolytes so we have 3 nights of training for that as well.

I am not complaining, it is just busy.  My classmates and I seem to be taking it all in stride.  We're continuing to follow the premise of "collaborate to graduate".

Friday, November 18, 2011

Psalm for a Seminarian

I'm not going to post my homework assignments here very often, but I'll make an exception.  For Philosophy, we were asked to write a psalm (since Augustine's Confessions has been called his psalm), so here is my psalm.


A Psalm for a Seminarian
Adoration
Lord you are the creator of all.
You are worthy of all our praise
All that we sense is your creation.
Our senses are overwhelmed with your creation.

Intellect
You created us in your image.
Your image, but limited in many ways.
Attune our intellect, Lord, to your ways.
Teach us your ways, your ways alone.

Contrition
We stray from your ways, O Lord.
All our days, we are tempted and give in to temptation.
Forgive us Lord, have mercy on us.
We are sinners, one and all.

Spiritual
Spending time in silence with you Lord is most important.
Help us make this a priority in our lives.
Teach us to listen for your voice, Lord.
Teach us to pray well, not for ourselves, but for others.

Thanksgiving
Every good thing that we have comes from you, Lord.
We offer it all back to you.
Be it done to us, Lord, according to your will.
Giving thanks to you does not seem enough, but it is all we have.

Human
We are broken human beings, Lord.
Help us to overcome our sinfulness and brokenness.
Show us how to live with one another in peace and tranquility.
Let us model our lives on your example of humanity.

Supplication
Lord, we ask and ask and ask.
Grant those petitions that will demonstrate your greater good.
Help us understand why those petitions that are not good for us were not granted.
Teach us to ask, not for ourselves, but for others.

Pastoral
Teach us what we need to know to be good priests for your Church.
Show us how to be good shepherds for your people.
Teach us humility, kindness and understanding.
Help us to follow your example every moment of our lives.

Discernment
Are we walking the path you have called us to?
Are we called to be priests? Or is there another path you have in mind for us?
Help us hear your voice over all the noise in the world.
Help us hear your voice and trust in whatever path you call us to.


                                                                                                -Chris Lowe




Wednesday, November 16, 2011

Exciting day at the Seminary

After our normal day of classes, Mass and prayers, we have 2 special events today.  This afternoon, we will be participating in a "dry Mass" to practice the new Mass responses that take effect in a couple weeks.  This will also give our seminary priests a chance to try out their new words in a real setting.

This evening is the Fall Follies.  Having never been to a Fall Follies, I cannot exactly describe it, but it seems to be skits and songs by each class.  The goal is to have a bit of fun and let off a bit of steam after a solid few months of studies.

Saturday, November 12, 2011

Home is where you store your insulin

What the heck is he talking about?

Some of the upperclassmen have told us newbies that when the seminary feels like home, it is a big step in our life of discernment.  Having sold my house before coming here, and having all my goods in storage, this was my only home for a month or so.  Now I also have my condo in Maine that I sleep in once in a while (my father, sister and brother-in-law live there).  But the seminary still feels like home to me.

The recent power outage and the resulting reflection (remember the last post?) helped put that into focus for me.  Home is where you store your insulin.  Being a Type 2 diabetic and injecting 4 times a day, my insulin supplies are my lifeline.  They are always stored at my home.  They are stored here at the seminary.  The seminary is home.  Please continue with your discernment....

Saturday, November 5, 2011

Priorities

A freak October snowstorm took out the power throughout much of New England.  The tree branches still full of leaves did not have much of a  chance against the wet heavy snow.  It's a week later and there are still thousands without power here in Massachusetts alone.

At the seminary, we lost power for 60 hours. That was just over 2 and 1/2 days.  We have an emergency generator, so we have some hallway, chapel and dining lights.  The kitchen has enough power to provide sustenance.  We had hot water and after some quick thinking by our maintenance guy, heat.  Classes, Masses and prayer times continued. 

So why was there so much grumbling about it?  (myself included)  We talked about that in the hallways as well.  Perhaps we are just too comfortable with our conveniences.  The TV, internet, lights just were not there.  The professors made allowances, so that was not the frustration.  Perhaps we're all just a bit spoiled by our technology.  We were clean, warm and fed.  Why were we unhappy?  Something for me to ponder in my prayer life.  Even after the power came back on, cable was still out for a day or so.  more grumbling...

On Tuesday, the power came back on and the 2nd year men were installed as Ministers of Reader.  The first year men (us) were servers for dinner.  After supper was complete, I went to bed for 3 days with a 3 degree fever.  My brothers came in 3 times a day with meals and to check on me.  I am so blessed and thankful for their support.  I am also thankful  that cable came back on to "entertain me" while I was down.  There it is again, technology at our beck and call.  More food for thought in my prayer life.

Friday, October 28, 2011

Artwork? We got your artwork...

We have a large collection of artwork here at the Seminary.  99% of the pieces are prints, but we do have a couple of originals by seminarians. 

Why do I mention this?  I know next to nothing about fine art.  So with the help of a second year theologian who is quite the accomplished painter, I'm learning.  The way I am learning is to take a picture, research the art and create a label for it with Title, Artist, Date created, Medium and Size, and Current Location of the Original. As an Example:


Title: Return of the Prodigal Son
Artist: Rembrandt Harmensz van Rijn
Date: circa 1667
Medium: Oil on canvas (262 x 205 cm) 
Current Location: The State Hermitage Museum, St. Petersburg, Russia

This would not be as easy as it is without the Google App for my phone.  Just point it at a painting and shoot a picture.  Google checks its database of images and find likely matches.  I investigate to find the real match and then dig to get the correct details.

What do we have?  Prints of El Greco , Fra Angelico, Dali, Rembrant, Raphael and more icons than I can name here.  I'm learning something and it benefits the whole seminary. 

Tuesday, October 25, 2011

Musings and Mid-Terms

We are right in the middle of midterm exams.  One down (no grade yet), two to do.  We also have papers due in classes, so the time is busy.  

I've been managing to keep some semblance of my resolutions in place.  The prayer time has been most consistent.  The exercise has been much better and I even get to practice the organ once or twice a week now.  I can do better on these and I keep trying to be better.  Time will tell.

I did step away from the Seminary to visit a Cursillo retreat.  I had hoped to sing at the Mass, but it was a new location and by the time I found the correct room, it was time for communion.  Ah well, I still saw some friends and went out to lunch with them.  That was a welcome diversion from studies.

If you'd like to see my (smiling?) face, and the rest of my brothers in the class of 2015, look here http://www.blessedjohnxxiii.edu/seminarians/seminarians2015.asp

Wednesday, October 19, 2011

Post Retreat Reflections

Well, I've had a few days to reflect on the retreat.  Let me tackle the mundane and bad news first.

After the retreat I went to Maine to continue the unpacking process.  I got dispensation from the Dean of Students to go to Mass in Maine rather than the Seminary on Sunday, so I had Friday afternoon, all of Saturday and most of Sunday in Maine.  I did succeed in getting all but 2 of the boxes cleared from the Den and Kitchen.  So it looks like Dad can now move into the condo.   I still have some sorting and putting away to do in my room, but that will not bother anyone else in their rooms.

The silence of the retreat was good for one seminarian but bad for the rest of us.  He has decided to leave the seminary and go back to his job and his avocation of helping people on the streets.  We are happy for him, but sad that he is leaving.

So, where am I post-retreat?  One question we were asked to contemplate was, "Are you doing the will of God?" After spending quite a bit of time on reflection on this, I believe the macro answer is "Yes".  I had no plan on attending the seminary.  God led me here.  On the other hand, the micro answer is "No".  I am sure God did not plan on me stressing out over my studies, so I have a new plan.  After lunch, 30 extra minutes in the chapel, then 30 minutes practicing the organ, then hop on the treadmill.  By 3:00 I can get back to studying after a good break doing other important tasks.

Saturday, October 8, 2011

Retreat

I'm posting off my usual schedule again, and for a good reason.  I will not be online for the next week.  The First Theology class is leaving for retreat on Sunday afternoon.  We are heading to a local retreat house for a 5 day silent retreat.  We will only speak at Mass and daily prayer, to our spiritual directors and have only limited conversation at meals.  The plan is to have time to speak with God and silence is the best path to that conversation.  The days are filled with Morning and Evening Prayer, talks by the spiritual directors, Mass, and lots of time to think and pray.

It will be nice to step out of the routine and busy life of the Seminary for a week.  After the 5 day retreat, I have permission to take a  2 day weekend in Maine to assist my family with the move in process going on there.  I hope to report back after the 16th with an update on my retreat and the progress of the move to Maine.

Monday, October 3, 2011

Mea Culpa

My apologies to those who have sent private messages or called.  Yes, I am feeling much better.  The vertigo spell was quite intense, and I've still been taking a daily Bonine to help with the after effects, but all in all I am doing well.

I cantored at Mass on Sunday for my community here at Blessed John (first time cantoring here).  It went pretty well.  I am positive I messed up the words, but everyone here is too polite to mention that.  It was the first time they have heard my singing voice.  It is not as dramatic as Jim Nabors difference, but it was different enough that I got several comments about my voice.  God gave it to me, I give it back.

My family is dealing with the movers dropping 50+ boxes and my furniture on my little condo in Maine.  I hope to be up there Wednesday evening and Thursday to unpack a lot of it and give them some more breathing room.   They are so patient with me. 

Tuesday, September 27, 2011

Some good news

Well, it's almost a month into the year and I am getting settled.  I am getting used to the routine and tuning my study habits.   I have received grades in most of my classes now from quizzes, papers and presentations.  I am doing about as well as I had hoped and that is good news to me.

I can still learn new things.  I have room for improvement.  My study habits could be a bit better, but all in all, I am finding that I can do this. 

Father's homily this morning also reminded me: It's all about love.  You can be an amazing learned man, but if you do not love your fellow man, or your parishioners, it does not mean much.  I pray for God to open my heart and fill it with His love every day.

Friday, September 23, 2011

and perhaps I spoke too quickly

Our seminary brother is back after a 2 day hiatus.  He is continuing his discernment here rather than at home.  Thanks to all you were praying for him and us.

Tuesday, September 20, 2011

and we lose another classmate

We're a little over 3 weeks into the first semester and we're down 2 classmates from our starting number of 16.

We lost our first man the first week during orientation.  We barely got to know him, so it was a bit jarring, but we seemed to get over it quickly.

This classmate however, has been with us longer.  Bonds of friendship were forming and this is much more of a shock.  He and I were talking a lot and getting to be good friends.  I knew he was frustrated with our hectic schedule, but not this frustrated. I will miss him.

If you ever wondered about praying for us here, let this be your answer.  We need your prayers. 

Friday, September 16, 2011

Illness and Response

Yes, the rumors are true.  On Wednesday at 1:30, I had a very bad vertigo attack,  I was sitting om the classroom waiting for class to begin and started sweating, got very white and felt that I could not move or I would get very dizzy and fall down.

One of our infirmarians (typically a physician who has an out of state license and is the first level of medical support) came to check on me.  They wheeled me to my room.  I lost my lunch.  One of the priests gave me the anointing of the sick and then I went to the ER.

They gave me a series of medications to resolve the vertigo, but none were really working as expected, so they did a CAT scan, X-Ray and EKG to check for other problems.  They found none, but wanted to keep me to be sure.  They admitted me to Newton-Wellesley hospital.  I felt much better the next morning and was released around noon.  I have some medication that makes me very sleepy (not good for class), but are helping me to stay vertical. 

The most amazing part of the experience is this.  One of my brother seminarians was with me every minute of my hospital stay.  They even split the overnight into shifts to stay and nap or pray.  Then they formed a team to drive me to Maine and back so I could sign the paperwork on the condominium that my family is moving into to keep that process moving forward.

God is good!  All the time!

Monday, September 12, 2011

Monday's Schedule

  6:00 Rise and Shine
  7:40 Morning Prayer
  8:00 Breakfast
  8:40 Patristics
  9:40 OPEN
10:40 Church History
11:40 Church History (continues)
12:35 Lunch
  1-4  OPEN (study, exercise, read)
  4:30 Mass with Evening Prayer
  6:00 Dinner
  6:30 Speech Class (2 hours)
10:00 Night Prayer (in private)

Sunday, September 11, 2011

Sunday's Schedule

  7:00 Rise and Shine
  8:00 Pick up Breakfast (enough to keep you until 10:30 if you need something)
  8:30 Morning Prayer (in private or small group)
  9:30 Mass (Open to the public)
10:30 Brunch (Open to the Mass attendees)
 12-5  OPEN (study, exercise, read)
  5:30 Evening Prayer (in private or small group)
  6:00 Dinner
  7-10 OPEN (study, exercise, read)
10:00 Night Prayer (in private or small group)

Friday, September 9, 2011

The Cardinal's Blog

Cardinal Seans blog this week reports on his visit to Blessed John Seminary last week.   Those with really sharp eyes may be able to see the back of my head in the picture of the entire assembly.  Let me help a bit, look on the left side.  I am next to one of the Monks (they wear white).

That is my assigned seat for the year.  It is close enough to the organ that I can step out to play it when I am called upon.

Saturday's Schedule

I am going to attempt to post daily this week with each day's schedule.  I hope it gives you some idea of what the days are like here.

  6:00 Rise and Shine
  7:40 Morning Prayer
  8:00 Breakfast
  8:40 Old Testament
  9:40 Patristics
10:40 OPEN (study, exercise, read)
11:45 Mass 
12:35 Lunch
  1-5  OPEN (study, exercise, read)
  5:30 Evening Prayer (in private or in small group)
  6:00 Dinner
 7-10 OPEN (study, exercise, read)
10:00 Night Prayer (in private)

Friday's Schedule

I am going to attempt to post daily this week with each day's schedule.  I hope it gives you some idea of what the days are like here.

  6:00 Rise and Shine
  7:40 Morning Prayer
  8:00 Breakfast
  8:40 Philosophy
  9:40 Patristics
10:40 Human Spiritual Formation
11:45 Mass 
12:35 Lunch
  1-5  OPEN (study, exercise, read)
  5:00 Adoration/Evening Prayer
  6:00 Dinner
 7-10 OPEN (study, exercise, read)
10:00 Night Prayer (in private)

Thursday, September 8, 2011

Thursday's Schedule

 I am going to attempt to post daily this week with each day's schedule.  I hope it gives you some idea of what the days are like here.

Thursday is our day off

  7:00 Rise and Shine
  8:00 Mass (not required to attend at Blessed John, can attend elsewhere)
  Morning and Evening prayer in private
  Meals are available at the regular times

  Today I will be going to my doctors to get my 2nd Hepatitis B shot
  Then I should be signing the paperwork to close on my house.
  Then I will be getting a much needed haircut.
  Finally, I'll be having dinner with friends before I drive back to the seminary

Wednesday, September 7, 2011

Wednesday's Schedule

I am going to attempt to post daily this week with each day's schedule.  I hope it gives you some idea of what the days are like here.

  6:00 Rise and Shine
  7:40 Morning Prayer
  8:00 Breakfast
  8:40 Church History
  9:40 Old Testament
10:40 Old Testament (continues)
11:45 Mass (I'm playing the organ, substituting for the music director)
12:35 Lunch
  1:15 House Committee Meetings
  2-3  OPEN (study, exercise, read)
  3:30 Faculty Adviser meeting (not every week)
  5:15 Evening Prayer (in private, some flex on time)
  6-9  Dinner with Boston Seminarians
10:00 Night Prayer (in private)

Tuesday, September 6, 2011

Tuesday's Schedule

I am going to attempt to post daily this week with each day's schedule.  I hope it gives you some idea of what the days are like here.

  6:00 Rise and Shine
  7:00 Mass with Morning Prayer embedded
  7:50 Breakfast
  8:30 Introduction to Philosophy
  9:30 Introduction to Philosophy (continues)
10:40 Patristics
11:30 OPEN
12:35 Lunch
  1:15-4:30 RCAB Child Protection Seminar (This week only)
  5:15  Evening Prayer
  6:00  Dinner
 7-10  OPEN (studying, exercise, reading)
10:00 Night Prayer (in private)

Friday, September 2, 2011

This semester's classes and books

Introduction to Patristic Theology

Doctrine and Practice in the Early Church
Early Christian Fathers
The Christological Controversy
On the Apostolic Preaching, St. Iranaeus
Origen: An Exortation to Martyrdom
Christology of the Later Fathers
On the Holy Spirit, St. Basil the Great
The Confessions, Chadwick
The Awe-Inspiring Rites of Initiation
On the Church: Selected Treatise, St. Cyprian

Old Testament

The Catholic Study Bible
The Consuming Fire: A Catholic Introduction to the Old Testament

Introduction to Philosophy

Plato's Republic
Augustine's Confession, Sheed

Church History

A Concise History of the Catholic Church
plus four books from the Patristics course

Introduction to Human and Spiritual  Formation

Catechism of the Catholic Church
Praying with the Jesuits: Finding God in all Things

Speech Class

No Books required

Tuesday, August 30, 2011

A few pictures

You can Google or Bing for pictures of the building, but let me share a couple views with you.
 We have a small flock of wild turkeys in residence.  I saw one roosting in a tree this morning, but did not have a chance to get a picture.

The best  I can do with this translation on the outside of the chapel is
"I beseech you, by virtue of whom you were called, to walk worthy of the vocation".
(Latin is NOT required for a priest or seminarian anymore.)


A picture of my room from the doorway.  That's the organ in the far left, reading chair and footrest center, bed far right, desk in the near left and fridge and coffee maker near right.  The door to the "sanitary facilities" is just beyond the fridge.  The sink is not visible, but is between the camera and the fridge on the right.

A picture of my room from the windows towards the door.  The clock was added by me so I can see the time from the organ and reading chair.  You can see my kneeler (folded up) next to my bed.  The bureau and closet are far right.  Again, the sink is not visible, but beyond the fridge  You can see the light and medicine chest above the sink. The door on the left beyond the kneeler and in front of the fridge is to the "sanitary facilities"

A look at the "sanitary facilities" shared with (I kid you not) my "flush mate".  That is the official term.  I'll meet him tomorrow when he arrives with the rest of the upperclassmen.  We each have a door so privacy can easily be maintained.



Monday, August 29, 2011

My first few days

I moved in on Saturday and promptly won the award for "most stuff brought in".  To be fair, the organ probably tipped the scales for that award.  I have located the organ, my chair, and my kneeler in the 8x16 dorm room with a little room to spare.

The orientation has been on-going with a new subject area introduced each day.  Thus far, we have covered Spiritual Direction and Seminary Life.  The next few days will cover Academic Programs, Pastoral Formation and a welcome Mass with Cardinal Sean.

Since it is mostly the new seminarians with a few upperclassmen to help us move in and get acclimated, it is still a small group.  We have 16 in our class if I count correctly.  I was quickly asked to play the organ for morning prayer, Mass and evening prayer.  I've been playing a lot (not that I mind), but that should diminish as the other musicians arrive in a couple of days.

The first day of classes is Friday  Again, if I count correctly, there are 20 books plus the Catechism and the Bible for this semester's classes.  Good thing that I am a voracious reader.

Saturday, August 27, 2011

"Move In" day

I don't have a lot to say today.  In a couple of  hours some friends arrive to pack me up, grab some lunch and caravan the 30 minutes to Blessed John.    That packing will empty the house. 

A chapter in my life closes.  A new chapter in my life opens.

Wednesday, August 24, 2011

Final days in my home

I'll miss my neighbors, I'll miss the good times we had as friends and family in this house.   I still have all the memories, but I won't have the house anymore. Some neighbors and friends are going to form a caravan with me to drive to Blessed John.  More good memories to come.

The movers are coming Thursday and Friday to pack me up and move me out.  A clean out service will get the house broom clean for the final walk through and closing next month.  I move to the seminary with my (not so ) small pile of belongings on Saturday.  I've over packed, I know.  But with the rest of my belongings in storage until the other house closes in September, I've chosen to play it safe, especially with my medications. 

In three short days, a new chapter in my life begins in earnest.  I hope I will have time to blog.  I hope I will have something more interesting to say than, "Had classes this week".

Sunday, August 21, 2011

Purging

The time is drawing very near...

Friends and family are removing pieces of furniture and items from my house.  Each removal makes the place a bit lighter and I find a corresponding lightness in me.  "'Tis a gift to be simple, 'tis a gift to be free"  More items are scheduled to be removed over the next 2 days.  Movers are coming on Thursday and Friday.

I have a small pile of belongings to take with me to the seminary, probably too much, but the rest of my belongings are in storage for a while so I am being safe.  I have my keyboard and prie dieu to add to that pile. 

Fr D. at my parish called last night to prepare me for a small ceremony at Mass today.  The parsih has purchased an alb for me.  I'm expected to say a few words.

August 27th is move in date.  It is less than a week now.  
Nervous?  No 
Excited ? Yes 
Blessed? Absolutely

Wednesday, August 10, 2011

Living Arrangements

I accepted an offer on my house.  I made an offer on a condo in Maine.  It was accepted.  Now for all the dominoes to fall into place, gently, one after another.

First, I've realized that the best thing for me to do is evacuate this house before I enter the seminary.  So I am working very hard to clean and remove everything that is not moving to my new condo or to the seminary.  I will have the movers come to pack up the house and put it into storage just before I leave for the seminary.  My friends and I will take the remaining few items to Blessed John.

My sister and brother-in-law will be handling many of the details in the condo.  It needs new rugs, some paint and a chair lift to make 2nd floor access easier.  That should all take place after we close and before we move in.  With any luck, my Dad, sister and  brother-in-law will be living in the condo by October 1st.  My stuff will be there and I'll unpack as  I can when I am there.

Thursday, August 4, 2011

An interesting day

Happy 32nd Anniversary Carmen.  You're not here on this earth to share it with me again this year.  Days like this remind me (a little too well) of the huge place you had in my life.  Dinner with friends tonight should help fill the void I feel today.

For 27 years we made this house a home and it is on the market.  I certainly don't need to maintain a house while I am in the seminary.  I received 2 offers for the house today.  Both were much lower than the asking price (which is already below market value).   I rejected them both.  God will send a buyer with a good offer in His time.  I have patience.

I continue to prepare and organize my things for move-in date on the 27th of this month.  

Monday, August 1, 2011

It's a Wonderful Life

One of the "issues" my spiritual director and I work on frequently is my recognizing the blessings in my life.  Like Jimmy Stewart in the movie It's a Wonderful Life, I tend to miss the blessings I have.  I can also be blind to the impact my life has on others.

Today is my first day as an unemployed bum as I take this month to prepare for entering the Seminary.  Last week was my last week of work at IBM.  On Tuesday, the IBM Toastmasters group had an award and cake to celebrate.  On Wednesday, my old group took me out to lunch.  On Thursday my coffee buddies took me out to lunch, On Friday my current team took me out to lunch. Afterward, a friend gave me an unexpected card and gift that touched me deeply.  (Common theme: food.  Food is good!)

On Saturday, I was invited to a cookout and found many of my friends from my prison retreats work.  They wrote me affirmation letters and had gifts.  It was a wonderful relaxing afternoon.

These all made it into my Book of Blessings.  I am blessed and people are seeing how I live my life and celebrating it.   God is Good, All the Time.

Wednesday, July 27, 2011

Tick Tick Tick

As I look at today's date, I realize that it is one month to "move in day" at Blessed John.  Time is just flying by.  This week at work and over the next couple weeks in life; colleagues, friends and family are scheduling celebrations to mark this transition in my life.

I continue to work through my latest checklist.  I have all my bedding purchased, washed and packed.   My insulin fridge has been purchased and tested.  I have a clergy shirt and an alb coming as gifts.  My immunization shots are scheduled.

I made a surprise visit to my Spiritual Director's parish last week.  It was the parish's patron saint's feast and the parish was celebrating.  I had a chance to sing with some friends in the choir there for evening prayer.  I will need to keep this in mind, celebrate your patron saint on their feast every year.

Wednesday, July 20, 2011

Blessed John National Seminary

I got my letter from the seminary today telling me what to pack and what not to pack.  There are no major surprises there.  (Although where I am going to get a window air conditioner in this heat wave is an interesting problem.)    I do have to make a trip back to my doctor for some routine immunizations.   I'll have to schedule that in the next 6 weeks.

My boss at work has started passing the exit paperwork to me.  In a little over a week, I will be leaving IBM (7 years) and the high tech field (30 years).  I am glad that I am taking the month of August to do a mental reset.  I have a few day trips planned and do hope to see lots of friends and family during that time.

Friday, July 15, 2011

Wake and Funerals

Wakes and funerals still affect me.  The memories of Carmen become very fresh.  So it produced mixed feelings when I've received news of the death of two acquaintances in the last couple of days.

I knew one man from Toastmasters and we got along famously at the beginning, but after a few years he changed and became less friendly to many of his fellow Toastmasters. I did call him on it and he told me that he does not live with Toastmasters so he does not have to be nice to them.  There is a wake, with a prayer service afterwards.

I knew the other man from my parish.  He was a fixture at daily and Sunday Mass.  I served with him on Cursillo weekends.  He was a Knight of Malta.  I watched him care for his wife for years before she died. He always had a pleasant word for all he met.  All in all, a really nice guy.  There is a wake at our church with a funeral Mass the next morning. 

I will be remembering and honoring both of these men at their wakes.  Two different lives, two different philosophies, but the world is a different place without them.  I've recorded their names in my daily book of prayers.

Tuesday, July 12, 2011

This blog

I check the stats to see how many people are reading this blog on a regular basis.  I don't know who you all are, but I do know that you are out there, reading along.  I am grateful that my words are keeping you updated on my journey and perhaps inspiring somebody to follow along.

What I don't understand is the reading patterns.  The most read page is my recent reading list.  OK, I can rationalize that, I guess. 

One other page in particular gets more hits than others.  Why does Spiritual Autobiography Part 6 get more hits  than other pages?  Is there something controversial there?  something insightful?  something sacrilegious? Of course, putting the link in this post will continue to raise the hits if you follow the link, but please do.  Read it again and tell me.  What is that post saying to you?

Wednesday, July 6, 2011

Three entered and three left

Yes, this weekend three family members entered the house, spent the night, shared meals, activities and car rides.  When it was all over, three left.  Nobody was injured, everyone seemed OK.

What am I talking about?  My dad, sister and brother in law and I lived together in my house for 1 day.  Hey, it may not seem like a big deal, but it was a great experiment in my mind.  If we're going to share a condominium in Maine, we need to make this work together.  We did not do too badly considering the dynamic personalities involved.  There will be some friction, I'm sure, but all in all, I have great hope for this working in the future.

It also seems that my prayers to Saints Joseph and Jude (and God) are working.  My realtor has called to schedule a showing and there is another to be scheduled.  All it takes is one buyer who loves this house and it will be sold. 

Tuesday, June 28, 2011

How long has it been?

It was a simple question.  It was also incomplete.  The real question was "How long has it been since Carmen died?"

I had to think for a moment.  3 weeks ago was the 18 month anniversary.  The fact that I had to think and that I missed a reasonably major anniversary tells me that I am healing.  Do I still miss her? Of course.  Am I tearing up as I write this?  Of course.

Now those who know the entire story will be wondering at this time...  Is the candle still lit?  I can respond with an emphatic, "YES!".

For those who don't know the story, and I cannot see that I have told it here before...  Just after Carmen died, I put up the Christmas candles.  Ours go on for 8 hours and off for 16.  The one next to my bed did not go off.  I reset it three times.  It stayed on.  I changed the batteries.  It stayed on.   It has been running for almost 19 months now on 2 AA batteries.  I like to think that Carmen is telling me that she is nearby and watching out for me.

Friday, June 24, 2011

It made me laugh

This morning I laughed out loud.

Each morning I listen to a podcast of the Morning Prayer (from http://divineoffice.org/) while I read along in my breviary.

This morning, the song was "O Come, Divine Messiah".  It was so unexpected, I just laughed out loud.
Of course, it is the Nativity of John the Baptist, so it makes sense in some weird sort of way. 

Just wanted to share...

Tuesday, June 21, 2011

A quiet time

I am emulating a hermit this week.

My car is in the shop for some minor body work (honest, I have no idea where that telephone pole came from!), so I am carless and working from home this week.  I am taking advantage of that by keeping the house closed up and the distractions to a minimum.

Today, my fellow diocesan seminarians are starting a 3 day retreat.  I was invited to join them, but had no vacation time left and could not work out a deal with my management.  So, I will be praying for them from home in my quiet little space.  With God's grace, I will be with them next year and the following years.

I leave my job in 38 days (not that I am counting)
I enter the seminary in 68 days (not that I am counting)

Tuesday, June 14, 2011

A message for me

I won't often post scripture in my blog, but yesterday's 1st reading is still not leaving me alone.  There must be a message in it for me.  I'm still looking for the exact message.

2 Corinthians 6:1-8
Working together, then, we appeal to you not to receive the grace of God in vain.
For he says: "In an acceptable time I heard you, and on the day of salvation I helped you." Behold, now is a very acceptable time; behold, now is the day of salvation. We cause no one to stumble in anything, in order that no fault may be found with our ministry; on the contrary, in everything we commend ourselves as ministers of God, through much endurance, in afflictions, hardships, constraints,beatings, imprisonments, riots, labors, vigils, fasts; by purity, knowledge, patience, kindness, in a holy spirit, in unfeigned love,in truthful speech, in the power of God; with weapons of righteousness at the right and at the left;through glory and dishonor, insult and praise. We are treated as deceivers and yet are truthful; as unrecognized and yet acknowledged; as dying and behold we live; as chastised and yet not put to death;as sorrowful yet always rejoicing; as poor yet enriching many; as having nothing and yet possessing all things.

Thursday, June 2, 2011

Tick Tick Tick

As my friend pointed out yesterday, I leave work next month.  It is getting closer to reality every day. Class of 2015 here I come.

I am making progress on the house.  The piles to deal with get smaller every day.  I've had a showing, but no offers yet.  God will provide...

One of my brother seminarians (Class of 2012) starts his summer term at my home parish this week.  It will be good to renew that acquaintance.

Tuesday, May 24, 2011

Secular considerations - Part 2

I have about 2 months left at IBM.
I enter the seminary in about 3 months.

The house is on the market.  It should be in the MLS system by the end of the week.  The price is less than I had hoped for, but the market is still weak.  The condominium that my Dad really wanted to move into went on the market last week.  It is also in my price range.  It also has 2 first floor bedrooms for my Dad and my sister.

Perhaps God is smoothing the way once again.  I'm praying for the patience and flexibility to just "go with the flow" on this house process.

Still sorting, cleaning and packing...

Tuesday, May 17, 2011

What I am reading...

As you probably know, I am a voracious reader. 
Here is the current pile of books on my bureau.

Complete:
Still Called By Name - Fr Dominic Grassi.  This showed up as an Amazon recommendation.  It was a most enjoyable read.  He writes it 30 years after ordination and still loves every day as a priest.

In Progress:
Bumping into God - Fr Dominic Grassi (again). I liked the other book so much, I grabbed some others by this author.

Living the Mass - Fr. Dominic Grassi and Joe Paprocki.  Subtitled "How one hour a week can change your life".  A most interesting discussion of each part of the Mass.

Next:
My Life With the Saints - James Martin, SJ.  Recommended by my spiritual director. 
The Spiritual Journey of a Show Business Priest - Elwood E. Kiesler. Recommended by my good friend Peg.

Tuesday, May 10, 2011

The Liturgy of the Hours

My first purchase specifically for the seminary is the 4 volume set of "The Liturgy of the Hours".  We must have the 4 volume set, not the "Shorter Christian Prayer".   My (soon to be) fellow seminarians suggested that I get the large print version.  In their words, "Your eyes are not going to get any stronger!"


 The astute reader will comment, "But all the books are there."  Yes, I put book 2 back for the picture.  It is back out and in use as it should be.

Tuesday, May 3, 2011

Cursillo Witness talk on April 26th

Good evening, my name is Chris Lowe.  I lived my Cursillo weekend in October of 1997 at the table of St Paul.  My Cursillo was not a revelation, but a confirmation of my spiritual life.

My prayer life was pretty good, I was studying and (Lord knows) that I am active in the Church.  I have a reputation of being very busy, but that is just a rumor, except of course, when our music director is out on maternity leave.  I was even doing weekly grouping for 10 years and did not even know it.  Our rehearsals for Sunday morning Mass started with a modified grouping before we did the readings and planned music.

What I did find on my weekend was many kindred spirits and a new community to share with.  You members of the Cursillo community have become a big part of my life.  18 months ago when my wife approached her final days, you were there for us.  And when she went home to heaven, you were there for me.  Your prayers and support got me through her death, funeral and burial.  I cannot image what my life would have been without you there.

A couple of weeks after Carmen died, I woke up to a message.  It was like a voice from above said, “Now will you follow me?”  The next week, in the bulletin, there was a notice for a vocation retreat.  I spoke to Father David about it and a month later I was attending a retreat for prospective priests.  Both the organizers of the retreat and I knew that it was too early to be serious about following this vocation, but the seed had been planted.

Over the next few months the vocation director and I spoke on a regular basis.  While I already had a spiritual director, I was required to find a priest for a spiritual director.  I found an amazing priest, Fr. Rasp.  He has been phenomenal to me in guiding me through my journey.

Getting into the seminary happens in 3 major steps.  First, the vocation director must be comfortable with you and your decision.   Second, the application for sponsorship is filled in and interviews with priests and psychologists occur.  These lead to a recommendation to the cardinal to accept or reject the candidate. Third, the application to the seminary must be filled out and interviews there completed.  The seminary team meets and decides on offering a position in the upcoming class.

This process has taken about 8 months to complete and it was the smoothest undertaking I have ever gone through.   There was not a single obstacle in the path.  The only concern that came up again and again was “It is too soon.  He is still grieving.”  Of course I am.  I hope to be missing Carmen for the rest of my life.

It is interesting to look back and see the signs that were there in place all along.
· Years before she got sick, Carmen told me that if she died, I would just become a priest.
· Just before she died, she asked me if I was happy.  I said “No, I‘m watching you die.”  She asked me to make a list of what made me happy.  It was everything that I do at Church and for Church.
· The cross that I picked for her tombstone was the Bishop’s cross.  I did not know it at the time; I was just drawn to that cross.
· Carmen had a large collection of kaleidoscopes.  The only was that I was drawn to and kept was the one that looks like the rose window at the back of the church.
· I told many people of me plans to enter the seminary.  Nobody was particularly surprised.  They saw something in me that I just realized was there in the last year.

So here I stand, before you making my final preparations before entering the seminary.  I plan on leaving my job at IBM at the end of July and entering the Seminary on August 27th.

I am putting my house on the market since it makes no sense to own a place that I will only sleep in 5 weeks a year.  I am planning on buying a condo in Maine and moving my Dad and sister into it.  I’ll sleep there on my vacations. 

While I am staring at 4 years with no income, I am blessed that the Cardinal has agreed to pay for room, board, tuition and heath care premiums for my tenure at Blessed John.  I do have savings that should cover my other expenses for those 4 years.

I’ll try not to be a stranger.  I may be around on occasion to play the organ for a Mass.  I do plan, God willing, to be back here in June of 2015 to say my first Mass with you.

I would like to ask you a favor.  It is a favor that I know you will do because you have done it again and again for me.  Please keep me in your prayers, more than ever, in the next 4 years.  The seminary is a refinery, where men are put into the smelter, melted and reformed.  I pray that God grants me the strength, the wisdom and the grace to become a priest for his church.

-De Colores



Thursday, April 21, 2011

My daily cross


Many years ago, my wife gave me this cross as a birthday gift.

Every night, before I turned in, I took off my cross and placed it on my bureau.  Every morning, I put it back on.  It was my routine and I did not think about it at all.  When I broke my shoulder earlier this year, I could not do that simple action, so I made a choice.  I left it on for 5 weeks.

Now that the shoulder is healed, I had to make another choice.  I went back to my old ways.  There is great symbolism in my old ways.

Each night, I take off my cross and turn my cross over to God.  As my mother used to say, "He'll be up all night watching anyway."

Each morning, I pick up my cross again and move forward with my day.

Sunday, April 17, 2011

Staring at the ceiling

"Lord, help me trust you more"
"Lord Jesus Christ, Son of the living God, have mercy on me a sinner"

These are my 'mantras' when I find myself unable to sleep and staring at the ceiling at 3:00 A.M. It is not every night, but once in a while.   Sometimes they work, sometimes they don't.

Gentle reader, any advice for falling back asleep?

Monday, April 4, 2011

Secular considerations

Well a lot of my spare time now is considering the secular aspects of my transition.

I've made a time line at work to exit there and give myself a month before I start at the seminary.  That should give me time to do some packing, some vacation and some family visits.

I've started the process of looking for a condominium where my Dad and I can live.  We're talking about bringing in my sister and her husband as well.  Nothing is decided yet, but there are some possibilities.

Meanwhile, I wander through the house and mentally tag items: seminary (very few), condo, and St. Vincent de Paul.  In those travels, I still see too much stuff.  There is so much in this house that I never use.  " 'tis a gift to be simple..."

Monday, March 28, 2011

I tell my secret

Well, the cat is out of the bag at work.  I told my manager and her manager on Friday.  They both took it very well.  I've asked for a July 29th end date.  Thus far, that seems reasonable to them.  Of course, their management may change that date at any time by asking me to leave. But it does not matter, I'm on a new path.

Now that my management team knows, I've been more open about this at work.  I've been telling former co-workers and folks I know at work.  I've posted it on Facebook and on LinkedIn.  The word is getting out.

My pastor told the entire congregation at the 9:00 Mass on Sunday.  I did not expect to turn as red as I did.  I was humbled by the applause the congregation gave me. 

God is good... All the time...

Thursday, March 24, 2011

ACCEPTED!

I just got a call from the Vocation Director.  I've been accepted for the fall semester.  My letter should be in the mail today or tomorrow.

Praise God!

Saturday, March 19, 2011

Blessed John National Seminary

I just completed my admission interviews at Blessed John.  I met with 6 staff members over 2 days.   The admissions board meets this Tuesday.  The letters will go out on Wednesday.  I should have an answer by Friday or Saturday.

Of course, the Rector of the Seminary will also call the Vocations Director on Tuesday or Wednesday.  The Vocation Director may choose to call me and let me know the decision at that time.

In either event, I should have an answer by this coming weekend.

Thursday, March 10, 2011

Blessed John National Seminary

I've been asked to visit Blessed John for 2 days later this month for my final acceptance interviews.   Your prayers are certainly appreciated.

Sunday, February 27, 2011

The Application - Part 2

Now that the Cardinal has agreed to sponsor me, I must complete the application to the seminary.  It is 3 forms to be filled out.  Some of the questions are redundant, some are new.

Because of the broken arm, my neighbor helped me fill out the 2 forms I am responsible for. My pastor will be visiting me this week to complete the form that needs to be done by him (interview based form).  Then the vocation office will pass these forms along with their recommendation and support materials to the seminary.

I will be waiting to hear from the seminary for the dates of the final interviews.  The vocation director is hoping for dates in mid March (the ides of March?)

Saturday, February 19, 2011

Sponsorship

    His Eminence, Cardinal O'Malley has agreed to sponsor me in my further discernment to the priesthood.  He is recommending and agreeing to pay for 4 years at Blessed John Seminary.  Final acceptance interviews there will likely take place in March.

Monday, February 14, 2011

Guest room at the seminary

I was on the vocation retreat this past weekend.  A broken wing and nasty cold did not stop me.
I thought that you might like to see what the rooms look like.  The guest rooms come with the TV, the seminarian rooms do not.


Friday, February 4, 2011

January vs. February

January was not a newsworthy month towards my discernment. I did complete the psychological screening.  The Doctor did call me and tell me that I seemed pretty normal and sent his report to the diocese.  This call took place while I was on a 2 week vacation in Orlando.  I came home to a lot of snow and met a sheet of ice face first.  Nothing is broken, but I am still pretty sore a few days later.

February brings me the 1 night Annual Vocation Retreat at Blessed John and meetings with the vocation director and my spiritual director.  I pray that the dioceses will share a decision with me this month.

Monday, January 3, 2011

Interviews

This week things start kicking up again.  I have my interview with the psychologist on Wednesday (5 hours!) and my monthly check in with my spiritual director on Friday.  The 5 hour interview is the last item on the Application for Sponsorship checklist, so after the psychologist sends in his report, the diocese will have all the information they need to make a decision. 

A reminder, the Sponsorship is not the final step, but the next to last step in the direction of the seminary.  The seminary would still have to accept me, but that is usually straightforward (according to the vocation director) once the diocese says they will sponsor the candidate. 

I'm hoping for some good news in February!