A tough day

Today is the one year anniversary of Carmen's death.  I thank God on a regular basis for loaning her to me for 30+ years, but there is still a big hole in my life where my best friend and wife used to be.

Friends and family joined me yesterday at a memorial Mass in her honor.  We gathered here at home after a quick trip to the cemetery.  We shared a meal and some stories about Carmen.  It was a good thing to do.

So why am I sitting here crying?  Because I'm human and I miss her..

Are You Happy?

About a month before Carmen died, she asked me, "Are you happy?"

Let's see, my wife, companion and friend of 30 years was under home Hospice care, I could see her slowly fading.  No, I was not happy.

She asked, "When are you happy?"

I had to think about it...  I'm happy when I'm on a prison retreat with the inmates, when I teach adult education at church, when I am on a Cursillo retreat, when I play the organ at Mass.   I think I see a trend here, I'm happy when I am spreading God's love to others

A door closed...

On December 6th, 2009 @ 6:33 P.M., my wife Carmen died. 

My companion, friend, and partner of over 30 years was no longer physically present in my life. This was not completely unexpected.  She had been ill for 11 years.  It still hurt, it still does at times.

Carmen's death opened up new possibilities in my life.   A week later, the proverbial "two by four" hit me in the side of the head.  I could explore that quiet call that I had been hearing most of my life.