Vocation Reflection

All the seminarians from Boston were asked to speak at the Masses at their summer assignment.  Here is my reflection...

The voice woke me up from a sound sleep. “Now will you follow me?” I did what any man would do. I got up, looked out the windows, checked the radio (it was off), checked the house and went back to bed. 

 

The next week, in our bulletin, was a notice for a Vocation weekend. I belatedly put 2 and 2 together. The call that I had been hearing since I was a young altar server was suddenly getting much louder. I could consider this call again, because earlier that year my wife of 30 years had died. My vocation of marriage could possibly be replaced with a vocation of Holy Orders. I remembered my wife’s words from many years ago, “If anything were to happen to me, you’d never get another girlfriend, you’d just become a priest”. Perhaps she knew something about me that I did not know.

As I continued to discern this vocation, I put up many barriers as to why it was not possible. Every time I raised a barrier, God crushed it, usually within days. I needed money to live on for 4 years at the Seminary; my IBM pension matured with a corresponding letter. My family may not be behind this; my agnostic brother called me and told me how excited he was that I was thinking of entering the seminary.

God continued to speak and I continued to listen. I must admit that when I visited the seminary and many of the men told me that they quit their jobs and sold their houses and came, I had serious reservations. I could never do that. I developed spreadsheets to work out the finances. I could keep the house. I could rent out my house. I could buy a condo. God continued to speak and very slowly, I heard and understood. I resigned from IBM and sold my house. I did buy the condo in Maine and my dad and sister are living in it. I need some place to sleep on my days off and holidays.

The most amazing part of being in the Seminary is my brother seminarians. They are always there for you; in sickness, study slumps, low moments, Patriots games, shopping trips, pub crawls, meals, and chapel time. They raise you up when you are down and keep you from getting too high on yourself when you need that as well. They frequently speak with the voice of God perhaps without even realizing it. 

 

One wise brother told me early on that “chapel time” was more important than study time. It took me two months to understand what he was saying, but my personal, quiet “chapel time” is an important part of my day at the seminary. I sit in God’s presence and listen for His voice. I don’t expect to hear it like I did 2 years ago, but I still listen for His voice every day.

God is speaking, are we listening?